Friday, February 03, 2006

VVIP

First off, Happy Birthday Tina! (Just a fair warning, her blog design is slightly ... er ... lets just say Kenny Sia won't like it) May you have lots of kinky steamy sex sessions with Patrick Dempsey (or at the very least, have many wet dreams about it). Alrighty, too many hyperlinks in this paragraph. I can just feel Maddox's blood boiling.

Anyway, Righteous is back in Christchurch. Which means no internet connection for me apart from work (the only computer in the house is in his room). So, if you don't hear from me, I'm fine. Siew Funn didn't send me anthrax (yet). Now that Righteous is back, I'm expecting the house to be filled by busty Korean girls taking turns having showers. With the door open. Yeah. My own playboy mansion.

I have found that if you want to get a girlfriend, you don't need the 5Cs. You just need to be the 5Ls : LengChai, LengChai, LengChai, LengChai, LongChai. It doesn't matter if you are dirt poor, possess an IQ lower than a monkey, are a player and treats your girl(s) like shit. Right. However, there are these people that are good looking, rich, smart, has his own house, car and credit card. I've always thought that it isn't fair that some people have all the luck and I've always secretly wished that God gave them a small penis.

What? Fair what. I believe that everything has to be relative. The better looking you are, the smaller your penis. Either that, or you have to be good looking, long penis, dirt poor and stupid like a buffoon. So you see, people like me that are ugly like fark, poor like fark, stupid like fark will have a farking long penis. It balances things out.

If this is the case there won't be anymore bullying in school. Imagine all the hunky football players picking on the nerdy kid in high school. Then after gym, you have to shower together and the jock notices that the nerd has a penis that touches the floor. He then has more respect for the poor nerd. Or they can reach an agreement: "You stop stuffing me into that fucking locker, and I'll keep my fucking long schlong a secret from your girlfriend". See? All the world's problems will be solved if this happened.

I'm sure by now most people will be asking "So does Righteous have a small penis?". No. He has a huge, gigantic penis. His testicles are big as well. (I'm staying at his house rent free. Anyone that offers me to stay at their place and not accept rent has a big penis) So right now I'm waiting for all the bubbly girls to stay over at his place waiting to get a glimpse of his joystick.

Anyhow, I shall end this post with an IQ question that Lynette posed to me.

You are a hunky knight (with a small penis) trying to save the princess from the clutches of the evil overlord. Your journey brings you into a magical maze and with your superb wit, you manage to travel all the way to the end. However, at the exit there is a fork in the road. One way leads to the castle and another leads to your doom.

You look around and notice two magical pikachus that are casting thunderbolt on each other for fun. On noticing you, they said: "Pika pika, one of us always tells the truth, and the other always tells a lie. Because you have a small penis, we answer one question of yours. Only one! Pika pikaaaaachuuu!"

So what will you ask them to know which way is to the castle?

Lynette and Yvonne are banned from answering this since I already told you the answer. I will post up the answer in a few days time. Good luck!

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